Visa Vexations

In order to get paid, I need a visa. That makes sense… if you are going to work for longer than 2 months, that is! I, on the other hand, am only a substitute until Katie returns, even though I am officially employed by the school: a school that, unlike every other Czech institution I’ve ever been in contact with, actually does things by the book.

Hence, upon arrival I went to gathering up every official-looking document that I’ve acquired here in the Czech Republic, locating important papers from home (including my original birth certificate that Gymnazium Sokolov had never returned to me and would have otherwise been lost forever in a dusty school file) and waiting in forever-long lines at various government buildings in Prague only to be turned away for not having “such-and-such” that no one had ever told me I needed in the first place!

Standardization and clear communication, I’ve discovered, was obviously not a high priority, and I determined that the primary goal of this entire process was to simply discourage foreigners from applying for visas because they got so fed up with all the red tape. Perhaps that is why there are so many Americans working illegally in Prague!

I also learned what it means to be a foreigner in a diplomatic sense. There was very little catering to individual needs, and I stood in long lines (sometimes in the freezing cold) with everyone else wondering if the agent would speak English or be patient enough with my broken Czech to not just throw up their hands at my obvious and intentional ignorance of their unclear, consistently changing policies.

Eventually, I gathered everything necessary and only waited on the work visa. It came last Monday, which made me happy, and I was told that I needed to go to Bratislava the following day to the Czech Embassy to officially apply for the visa (apparently you have to apply from out of country) … which made me not so happy. In a mad panic, I threw all my things in a backpack, made last-minute plans and substitute lessons, and hopped on a train. Four- and -a -half hours later I was in Bratislava. I was luckily able to meet up with some friends from ESI that live there, Priya and Laura, and was just in time to help celebrate Laura’s half-birthday, which even warranted getting out a box of our favorite Doughboy’s cake mix!

In the morning, I figured out public transportation enough to drag myself to the Embassy with my huge backpack. After waiting outside until exactly 9am, I filled out the application form, which didn’t really cater to Americans (including no place for middle names, which caused quite a controversy when trying to explain), and then filled it out again, and again, and again before the attendant found it acceptable. The only problem then was that there were no more blank pages in my passport to insert the visa (that’s what happens when you are such a cool world-traveler I suppose!). So, I had to go right next door to the heavily guarded American Embassy to get some refill pages.

It was like coming home after a long trip or entering a nice hotel where you are the guest of honor. All I had to do was flash my passport, and I was guided in immediately. They greeted me in English and then formally escorted me to the front of the line, past the patient Slovaks awaiting their turn to apply for US tourist visas. It was a small victory given the months of patience and angst I had spent doing the same thing in the Czech, but it was unfortunately over the innocent Slovaks who hadn’t even been my evil persecutors in the first place. Still, it relieved me in some selfish way with a small sense of satisfaction. I got my pages and was sent off with a smile to the train station…

Where I immediately met a Russian boy I recognized from the Czech Embassy returning to Prague who eagerly wanted a travel buddy but spoke no English. After 5 hours of Czech conversation, I realized that there are no victories in this country that aren’t immediately mentally eradicated following any encounter with the Czech language and its constant victory over me.

But I shall overcome, oh yes, I shall.