My Decision

My Decision

This week I had to make a decision about whether or not to stay in Prague next year at Nad Aleji. So much has been up in the air for so long that I’d been avoiding settling into a final decision for some time… which essentially means I’d been mulling over what to do ever since I got here (which is probably not surprising to those of you who know me!). There was a possibility of a part-time position next year, but it was possible that someone else was going to accept it, and a string of other “possibiles” with only a few “certainties” mixed in between.

And, anyway, it didn’t seem like things would work out like I hoped they would to make the decision to stay here right. After my talk with Haley and her decision to go home, I witnessed how much she wanted to stay but how her heart knew she needed to go home… it was torture for her, and she kept faltering in her decision. I then decided I needed all the necessary information, so I spoke immediately with everyone involved with ESI, with the school, etc so that I would be able to weigh everything and come to a final conclusion. Much to my surprise, everything was going to work out to be the perfect situation to stay here: I could live with Katie, live in Prague, come back semi-independently, and teach mostly subjects (like American History, Literature, etc). It was perfect.

Then, I realized it still didn’t feel right. If I was still having doubts even when everything was seemingly working out just as planned (or rather, just as I had planned), maybe my heart had been trying to tell me something. Perhaps everything new about living in Prague had worn off and lost its initial glamour. Life in Prague had become life as normal here, only in a different place. The last few weeks, I realize that I’ve been homesick… for Sokolov. And that, in turn, for some reason, made me homesick for home. My heart wanted to be somewhere that wasn’t temporary, somewhere to settle in where the friendships were old and familiar, and the places, too.

I don’t know why God keeps putting me in new places and then plucking me away as soon as I get comfortable. But, that’s what He wanted for me the past few years, and He’s been faithful so far in providing all I needed in every place He’s brought me. Certainly there’s a reason for it. Until then, I feel completely peaceful about the decision, a peace I’m learning through God’s grace.

Perhaps that’s why I’m here.